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although we met on a dating app, x and i were great friends. That day, when we first met i found out that x liked me — and i liked him too. That day, my whole world changed. A new beggining of something was starting. x entered into my life. As x and i started to become more comfortable with each other, we would go out with each other every week. He would bring me to his house and lets me play with his humongous pc. x mom is really nice, she even tells me to come to her sons house more often, and that made me happy. And soon enough we became the world’s most cutest couple. I learned so much about x and i thought i knew him so well, more then anybody. I loved x so much, x was caring and gentle to me, x would always ask if im okay and when i feel sad x were always there for me. x wasn’t the most attractive guy in the world, but in my eyes he was perfect. x has a black hair, pale skin, and really nice pinky lips. i love how his eyes looked. i love everything about him. At some point, x and i got into a few arguements that i wish never happened. I had a bad temper and that caused most of the arguements to brew. I remember telling him that he never understands me. Little did i know saying this had ruined the future for us. I never meant to hurt x. But in the end we would always get along again. Soon, we officially became 3 months :D. I was the happiest human alive and its more like an achievement to me. Soon x graduated and pursuing his work in singapore, it made me really sad. I cried myself to sleep everyday thinking what would i do if he stays in singapore forever. There wont be anyone to go on an ice cream date with me, eat with me, and spend my time with me. I wanted to beg for him to stay but i dont want to be a burden and ruin his future. x said he was okay with ldr but in the other hand im not, i want him to be by my side, he was my comfort zone i love him more as much as he does.i started to get impatient.Many arguements took place. It was so apparent, x was slowly starting to lose interest. I wasn’t sure if he was scared, angry, stubborn, or just upset. My love did not change for x though. While i was angry and impatient, i was very worried about him and what happen in the future. I never meant to hurt x. I became selfish and kept asking him to visit more. Eventually x was too busy with work in singapore. I was lonely. Arguements were becoming severe. I had ruined it all. Eventually it had x into leaving the relationship. 3 months and 11 days.I continued to cry everyday for a whole month. I kept apologizing and apologizing to myself which it did nothing. Again it was truly apparent, he had lost interest. I thought that he didn’t care or refused to show any sign of sympathy. I wasn’t sure about how he felt but in the end it was all my doing. It was my fault. I wanted to convice x to return but it would make things much worse and i would be an annoyance to him. I started to grow really depressed. At some point i was binge-eating due to stress and almost become overweight. Now i have the opposite problem where i am not eating as much as anymore and lose a huge amount of weight. Moving on had been an idea but i struggled terribly and i am still in the same spot today, still grieving over xi understand you thought that i was being childish and a nuisance to you and our relationship must have been embarassing to you.You were my best friend, lover, and future. I love you x. I miss you so much x. I wish you would come back to me. I miss talking to you so much. Thank you for being part of my life x. and again deeply x, i love you.With love,
Zahar